Children are a gift from God. Watching a child grow from a tiny infant to a happy and confident adult is a delight to behold. Sadly, some parents experience a devastating heartbreak when their once cheerful adult child falls into the pit of sadness, and their confidence dwindles little by little–worse yet, when that grown child, so loved, commits suicide. With the kind of tenderness only a father has for his son, author Edward Byrne chronicles the highs and lows of his deceased son Matthew’s life.

Tales of Matthew’s youth are told through the eyes of a loving father.  The author fills the book with Matthew’s interactions involving family, friends, counsellors, professionals, and the family dog. The stories from Matthew’s youth paint a picture of the All-American boy with good looks and a sense of humor. Byrne describes the path of Matthew’s education from a Catholic school boy to his Bowdoin College days. We read of his passion for swimming,  his Jones Beach lifeguard days, his love of the New York Yankees, and landing his dream job with New York City’s Fire Department. 

Underneath that warm smile as depicted on the front cover, a darkness lurked. Work-related post traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD had taken hold of Matthew. To cope he turned to alcohol and drugs. Mental illness and addiction led him to quite a few visits to treatment centers in the hope of turning his life around. Sadly, nothing worked. As Matthew’s addiction took over his life, he was in danger of losing his identity as a firefighter and lifeguard. Slowly, Matthew began to lose hope and sink deeper and deeper into depression.   

Looking back, Byrne sees the warning signs of Matthew’s decline. The serious knee injury that introduced him to narcotics seemed to be the beginning of Matthew’s downward spiral. His parents were unaware of this early addiction. While Matthew was determined to be a firefighter, Byrne and his wife did not think he was cut out for such an emotionally demanding job. They said nothing and supported his decision, but they were right. Matthew saw quite a few tragedies in his short time as a firefighter. Matthew’s dream job quickly proved to be too much for him. 

In Whom I Am Well Pleased is a well-written memoir about a difficult topic. There is no sugar coating or preachy undertone. Instead, Byrne offers readers wisdom through observations and memories as well as humor. He draws parallels between Matthew and his own father, a war veteran who suffered from PTSD. Through heartache, Byrne offers readers hope when the unthinkable happens. There are several paths a father can take after burying his child. He can wallow in misery, drown himself in work, or reject others’ effort to offer support.  For Byrne, he went to Mass, spent time with family, prayed, worked and wrote. 

 The journey through Matthew’s life, and the frankness of the long brutal journey of secret addictions, failed recoveries, and disappointments may be tough for some readers. For those who have had similar losses, around addiction, mental illness, and suicide,  I encourage them to take a chance on this book. Byrne’s humor and devotion to his family shine through the pages.  Bravely, Byrne highlights the pain and suffering of mental illness in the hopes of expelling the stigma and shame that surrounds it. PTSD is a serious disorder that can take over your life through distressing thoughts on repeat and a low sense of self worth. There is no stigma of shame regarding mental illness in this book, just love for a broken son.