1. Stop reading apologists & nonfiction

You wouldn’t be Catholic if you hadn’t done your research. The costs are too high. And yes, it does feel like you’ve got to catch up on 2000 years worth of culture and history and theology but you’re not going to binge it in another year of study. Chill before you burn yourself out. Take a break and come back to this later. I’ll tell you what to do instead at the end of this list but first some other important things

2. Don’t Argue with People who Yell

This includes anyone online. It doesn’t go anywhere. You know it doesn’t. If your uncle tells you you’re going to hell at Thanksgiving dinner just keep your mouth shut and eat your potatoes. Your silence and even struggling composure will make you look better to your cousins than if had the wittiest retort. Those who are actually willing to listen will come to you privately and calmly with their questions later. Even then try not to argue but just to point them to a Church Father or Catholic Answers so they can begin reading the nonfiction and apologetics on their own.

3. Don’t post your conversion online

I’m going to get brutal here. Get ready for it.

Paul took two years off ministry after his conversion and he was a lot smarter than you are. This is probably the most destructive thing you can do to your relationships with non-Catholic friends and family. They find out on social media and its like a bucket of ice over their heads and they’re sitting at their screen wondering if you’ve been brainwashed and they have to sit in that discomfort the whole time until they eventually see you in person. Then you wonder why you lose relationships after treating them so brutally? Sure you’ll lose some people who can’t get over their prejudice but those are usually shallow relationships to begin with. The cold hard truth is that you lose a fair number of people simply because you’ve made it incredibly awkward. That’s not religious persecution. That’s on you.

Instead just tell people— in person— one at a time. It seems harder. I promise you it’s easier. It allows you to look your loved ones in the eye and with all the love and connection between you present when you deliver the news. Even if they don’t like it and aren’t ready to ask you about it telling them in person reassures them that you are still the person they know and love and can talk to.

And if you’ve already posted it then get ready to make amends. You are the one who made it awkward. Now you’ve got to go to everyone with whom you feel that distance growing, apologize for how they found out, and for making it so weird for them. It’s not going to be fun opening that conversation but you’ll be surprised how quickly those who love and desire connection with you will forgive you (and how many there are).

4. Get involved at a local parish.

Go to the church fairs, the potlucks, the adoration, the obscure holiday eucharistic processions. Stop reading about being Catholic and just BE ONE.

Now for that positive advice I promised; what to do instead?

5. Consume Catholic Art 

Be it music, film, paintings, literature or even video games— pick your favorite medium of choice and search out the Catholic artists making stuff you will love. Nonfiction and Apologetics teach WHAT Catholics believe but art teaches your heart HOW TO BE Catholic. Without it you’re still just cosplaying. Your un-concious attitudes, gut reactions and biases are still all your pre-Catholic culture. That will not go away by reading a lot of theology. There is a reason Jesus spoke to the crowds in parables. Do the 6 year olds in their 1st year of Catechumen classes know anymore about the 2000 years of history and theology than you do? Probably not, but they are still more Catholic than you because from birth they have been fed the beauty of it— the prayers, the kids books, the songs— THE ART.

Do all that you’ll be just fine

And if you’re interested to read a more personal account of how art affected my conversion experience you can find that here: https://catholicreads.com/2018/09/02/why-reading-fiction-made-me-a-better-catholic/